Happy New Year! Before I start talking about last year, I pray that your year will be blessed and that you will live a life that is according to His will.
One thing that God showed me time and time again last year is that He can shatter my expectations. This phrase can have a negative connotation to it, but it can also be positive.
In January of last year, I prepared to take the court for the remainder of my junior basketball season. One goal I had set for myself was to make the all-conference team. I had worked hard all summer long to improve my shot so that I could accomplish this. On January 2nd, I was playing defense and heard my right knee pop. I could not bend it. I could not get a doctor's appointment until the next day. I had to miss out on our homecoming game which was so disappointing. The day after my appointment, I found out that I tore my meniscus and would need surgery. Depending on how severe the tear was, I could either have it repaired or replaced. The recovery time was for a repair was 8-12 weeks, while a removal was 6-8. Either way, I expected to miss all of basketball season. Honestly, I was mad at God for this. Everything I worked for seemed to be thrown away. When I woke up from surgery, I found out that I had to have my meniscus removed. This got my hopes up to possibly be back for the conference tournament. I continued to go to practice and games even though I could not do anything. I wanted to support my team. I had to watch my team lose one game that we could have won if I had been healthy and played.
But during this season of waiting, I realized that I had been wrong for being angry at God. I prayed that He would let me play again before the season was over. "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God," (1 Corinthians 10:31). I prayed that if I returned, I would give all the glory back to Him. My recovery went quicker than I expected and began to play in conference games at the end of January. My team won the tournament. During the awards ceremony, I had no hope that I would be on the all-conference team. Turns out, I was the last one voted in. Even though this was not the way I expected my junior season to go, I still accomplished my goal. But through my injury I gained something more important: a heavier reliance on God. I do not take for granted the ability to play with my teammates. My injury has given me a more grateful heart.
I had an enjoyable rest of my junior year. It was filled with a lot of homework, laughs, friends, and worship. I got to lead worship in Washington D.C. with some of my friends and my teacher for a two hour time slot. I think we had around 20 songs prepared. I did not know if I would still be on the worship team after taking a few months break to really pray about if God wanted me to do it. I felt very encouraged and refreshed when I rejoined. Getting to lead worship with those people is an opportunity I am very grateful to have had, and I wish now that I did not take it for granted. (#dreamteam)
I had lots to think about the summer before my senior year. Where do I actually want to go to college? Does God really want me to go into medicine? I had a lot on my mind. My youth pastor also told us that he would be moving to another church to be the lead pastor. While I was super happy for him and his wife, I was sad that they were leaving. I went to camp with a few of my friends in July. The theme of the camp was "Reset." The messages we talked about focused on shifting our mindset to think about things above. That encouraged me in the midst of all the thoughts I was having at that time. No matter what I did or where I went, my highest priority was sharing the Gospel and trying my best to obey His will.
I was expecting to have a great senior year with all of my favorite teachers. Then, they all started dropping like flies. My english teacher and my math teacher leaving were pretty big blows. That was announced before the school year started. But at least I still had my theology teacher, who led the worship team. I then found out that he would not be leading the team anymore. I was super upset about this but was content to at least have him as a teacher. Turns out, God had called Him to teach at another school. I was so upset. I began to question God's plan. Senior year was supposed to be the best year of high school, and all mine had been within the span of two weeks was disappointing. In addition, my youth pastor was gone too.
Thankfully God brought in some new staff to our school, who did not "replace" the former teachers, but have helped my senior year to go better than I expected after all of the disappointment I was preparing to face. I also give my friends credit for this year going better than I thought. We've had to lean on and support each other. We are sad that this chapter of our lives is not all we hoped it will be, but we continue to cherish the memories that we are making with one another.
In December, I found out that I got into my dream school! Honestly, I did not think I would get in. Now, I am playing the waiting game to see if I will get enough scholarship money to be able to go there. I am not sure what to expect, but know that whatever happens is His will.
This year has taught me to lean on God, because only He knows the future. Even though I have certain hopes and dreams, He has the best plan for me. I could be content doing my own thing, but I will never be fulfilled unless I rely on Him.
God may shatter my expectations, but He is doing so with His infinitely better plan.
